Personal Blather Board

I am a stranger to myself. A person who lives a life he loathes and, in contrast, shares some nuggets of life for his fraternity and becomes one he aspires for, albeit ephemerally, yet continuously unable to replicate the same in his own life remains listless. The events as they have unfolded is morphing ‘me’ into that ‘other’. I am fastidious and facile fluctuating between frivolity and solemnity, magnanimity and gluttony at the same time. The pendulum of life has always swung to extremities endlessly. I like to think that I have weapons at my arsenal aplenty yet little do I make use of them or even make an attempt at using them. I try to analyze my trajectory and find it a nosedive yet somehow I convince myself that things are not as bad as they seem to be. In fact they are worse. I consider waking up from this dejection and make inroads for hereon. I do so too but just into a few meters I slacken up. I come to a halt and gradually to a full-stop. After the race is over, I realize po...

I am coming to this wordpad straight after watching some of the videos on Youtube by Sadhguru. Whenever I’ve doubts creeping in my mind, I often go through his videos. As he has endlessly told, one should not seek for tranquilizers but for eternal and lasting peace but often times I end up seeking the former when desperation corners me badly. I don’t seem to take in his words or my own for that matter but resort to fleeting shenanigans or indulgences mistaking them for  a remedy when they actually are an ephemeral diversion.  Have I given myself a moment or two to think through or mull over what I am doing as one that I really want to do and keen on doing ? “It is your life after all”, says Sadhguru and continues, “so it is your responsibility to make this precious life the way you want it to be, the way it wants to transpire for this is all you’ve that is truly yours, rest is just the accumulation from the milieu and mother earth that will return to where it belongs when it i...

कोही व्यत्ति विचारशून्य भएको बेला लेख्ने पर्यत्न गर्न खोज्छ भने उसको हालत मेरो जस्तै हुनेछ कारण म भर्खरै निदरीबाट ब्युँतिएर केही काम नभए सरी कलम समातेर बसिरहेको छु | वरिपरि केही पानाहरु पल्टाएका पुस्तकहरु एक माथि अर्को खप्टिएका छन् तर यिनबाट विचार सापटी माग्ने किञ्चित इच्छा पनि ममा छैन | कहिलेकाही त लाग्छ सायद यो ध्यानको लागि सर्वोतम मनस्थिति हो र व्यर्थमा कलमलाइ दाँयाबाँया , तलमाथि सार्नुको रीतिलाइ तत्काल त्यागी कलमलाइ केही बेर आराम दिउ , पर्दाका कापबाट च्याउन थालेका घामका किरणको न्यानो स्पर्श   पाउन बाहिर निस्किउ , त्यो भन्दा पनि पहिले चियाको एकएक सिप लिदै आलस्य   शरीरका कणकणमा जीवनतरगं सञ्चारित गरु | तर यी वाक्यहरु लेखी भ्याउँदा - नभ्याउँदा वृहत मेघ सम्मेलनमा सहभागी हुन आएका हरुले सम्पूर्ण उपत्यकामा स्याँल छोडिदिन्छन् र म सिरसिरे बतासको कठ्याङ्ग्रिदो प्रहारको आघात सँगै चिसो कपतिर नजर घुमाउदछु ।